That Warm and Fuzzy Feeling I Can Never Get Rid Of

It's been days since I came home from Palawan but I am having trouble moving on from what has happened. I've not really felt this sense of home for a while now, and I suppose the Bayani Challenge experience made me feel that kind of love I could never explain. 

I cried after the recollection because I was moved by the fact that I was inspired and that I knew at the back of my mind that I was not resolving my struggles alone. I had a team. I was also holding back tears before we boarded the plane. I suppose that was because I did not want to let go of what I felt I was starting to have. 

Of course, this all started back when we were planning the whole team up. It all seemed surreal that time and everytime I got an e-mail or text from either Ate Cla or Frank, I was always thinking that it was a dream. I did not know what to expect. I did not know what to do once we landed! It seemed as if it was just about forming teams for the build. Something as plain and simple as that. But it was God's amazing design that brought us to where we are now.

When we reached Palawan, we did not really do hardcore builds (as in from ground zero, passing the hollowblocks around, etc.) but we had another sort of build -- building relationships. And from what I've experienced in those 8 days, it was enough for us to be close enough to promise each other that we won't leave anyone behind. Walang iwanan. 

Sure, there were moments of awkwardness and second-guessing -- but when the ice was broken, the fun never ended! Even when there were problems, everything was still fine. Last year, I'd never thought that I'd really have fun WITH the Ateneans during the bayani challenge. I'd never imagined truly sharing the experience of the 9-hour ride, the injuries, the playtime, the super long boat ride, and even the sabaw nights with them. It's like my family just got bigger. Even when I side-tripped for a sharing in a CLP, almost everyone who saw me before I left wished me well even if they barely had an idea of what I was really going to do. And that's something that I'll always treasure.

We may have left Palawan early, but I could honestly say that a part of my heart will always be there knowing that I spent eight amazing days with you! I will forever be grateful for the fun and challenges we've all had together:) 

Whatever magic Palawan had on the team is a challenge for us. It's something that we must build on and sustain. More than the friendships that have been formed, it's about how we will move forward and inspire other people to unite to help our country. 

I love you all. Hope to see you all very soon! :) <3

This is just one of the greatest stories I could ever tell :)

I could remember it as if it was yesterday.

April 12, 2009. I was with Team CSB, boarding the plane for the 4th GK Bayani Challenge in Zamboanga. On the same plane was Team GK Ateneo. If you asked me last year if it were possible for DLSU and Ateneo to have a joint team during for the Bayani Challenge, I would say, that is a humongous mountain to climb. Maybe I'd need more prayers if I wanted that to come true. It was something that seemed nearly impossible to me. Considering the circumstances our team was subjected to last year, I didn't know how to take the first step towards approaching Team Ateneo and asking them if they wanted to participate with us. I had my hesitations, and along the way, I've given up on the prospect of participating for this year's Bayani Challenge. I did not even consider heading a delegation of Lasallians. I declined invitations. I told Ate Cla and Dhang time and again that I won't be coming. Of course, I have a more valid excuse to tell them. I am a student (again) and we have deadlines. 

Fast forward mid-February 2010. Here's how I could truly say that if God wills something for you, He'll find ways for you even if you've turned the opportunity down time and again. I randomly decided to go to the office that day to give updates to Br. Roly.(I'm usually at GK Baseco). He had his own kwentos about his recent GK meeting with a certain Mr. Frank Chiu from GK Ateneo about the Social Enterprises. Of course, I listened to his plans and stuff. And then he remembered that Frank mentioned this "Bayani thing in Palawan". Oh, the Bayani Challenge! Haha. And he said that DLSU should participate WITH Ateneo. "Leave your rivalry in the basketball court," he told me. 

He did not give me any contact numbers so I did not know what to do. I suppose that I could say it was fate which brought me to that GK1MB volunteer management training in Ateneo the following Wednesday. While I was waiting for my friend Jai to finish his meeting with Justine and Leigh, I was able to meet Frank. And I was praying after that, "Lord, salamat at alam ko na kung paano silang icontact!". Haha. 

And so the team started planning: I, together with Frank, Ate Cla and Jai, with whom I've found great support when everything seemed so up in the air. Almost every single day, I found myself exchanging texts and calls with them making sure that every single detail was taken care of. Really, the task was difficult, pero dahil WALANG IWANAN, everything became possible. I talked to the community organizers of Baseco, Tito Jun, Tito Isaac and Tita Baby, who have all been really great to me. I've made Dhang kulit time and again about the details. The participants weren't even sure of coming. Our target was just then reduced to producing one (1) DLSU/DLS-CSB team at that time!
Phone calls left and right had to be taken! And these weren't just from ordinary individuals! These were actually from people who had a lot of influence in the University! GRABE lang ang masasabi ko everytime I had to take one call or meet someone personally! It was quite a rollercoaster ride! 

Letters were sent to solicit funds. We needed a lot since we really couldn't afford to go to Palawan unsupported. I personally found myself praying even more constantly and hoping that somehow, we could get enough funds to get us through the whole Bayani Challenge. A bit of extra wouldn't hurt, I told God. And when we asked, God did not just open one door but several floodgates. We've raised a couple of thousands more than our initial target. We don't really even have to spend a single centavo because everything's already been paid for.

Everything went from slow to fast. It seemed as if everything was still a dream. And even today, as I finished packing the things I need to bring, I still could not believe that it was all coming true -- that what our team has worked for is being realized. 

Even more so, the two best schools (YES!) in the country, which people tend to pit against each other, will be working TOGETHER to end poverty! 

My doubts and fears from last year have been cast! Excitement is an understatement to what I'm feeling right now. I would never be able to put into words just how great and inspiring this story is. This is where leaving no one behind takes us! 

Like what I said during the orientation, "Puro sobrang galing lang talaga ang nasasabi ko kasi sobrang galing lang talaga ni God na nangyari ito." This story is greater than how I could put it into words, really! I myself, couldn't give justice to the marvel that has unraveled in the span of a month and a half!:) 

God has given us to work and see how the country could rise before our very eyes! :D

AD MAJOREM DEI GLORIAM!

(Thank you to everyone who are making this trip possible. I'm so excited for tomorrow!:D)

Rivals, really?

Here in the Philippines, the top two educational institutions are De La Salle University and the Ateneo de Manila University. I'm a Green Archer. Well, I was practically raised to be one! Ever since I was three, I was being brought to La Salle. Ask some of those who are still working in DLSU, they'd probably know me from when I was little and running around the campus! 

Anyway, when DLSU and ADMU comes to mind, we'd always think UAAP basketball, rivalries, the corporations making huge money out of those games, stuff like that! It's actually been blown out of proportion in many instances. As in exaggerated na talaga sometimes!

But if there's one thing that GK really taught me, it's to transcend factors that cause divisiveness in society. And so I value Ateneo's part in nation-building. If anything, hats off to Ateneo because they're really doing great at what they're doing (shout out to GK Ateneo friends!) and that I could only wish for La Salle to take Ateneo's example. What's the point of being achievers for God and country if we couldn't even really live up to it, right? 

One very fine day as I reported in the office, I got news that I was being made to work with Ateneo. It really made me feel absolutely excited! If anything, it made my job more interesting because I always was with the same people almost every week. Another reason is because I would love to have the opportunity to work with them because I want to take notes on how they did the things they've done already! And the most exciting part of it is that we're teaming up for the Bayani Challenge! I didn't even plan on going to Palawan because of grad school, but I was told that I should take charge. Leave the rivalry in the court. Well, this mattered more to me than any rivalry. It was about uniting in the face of poverty and so many other challenges to this country! (although now, my problem is actually finding participants! haha!)

I mean, WOW! For the longest time, DLSU and ADMU are always on opposite sides. But now, it's our time to show what it means to be Lasallian or Atenean. It's not about us. It's about helping the country rise. It's about sharing the privilege of being Lasallian or Atenean to be a blessing to others. :) 

I always take inspiration from this video:

This was one of the first GK videos which has truly inspired me to serve. First, because EDSA is something close to my heart. Second and most importantly, it's the message delivered by Kuya Greg which can be heard towards the end of the video...

"People used to think that the greatest enemy of La Salle was Ateneo, and that the greatest enemy of Ateneo was La Salle. But the people were wrong. The greatest enemy of Ateneo and La Salle is poverty, and this is the greatest enemy of all Filipinos! And we must now unite and build a new nation free from slums, violence and poverty! Now the youth of my generation are saying, we're tired of praying for this country. We want to become the answer to our country's prayer!" - Greg Mercado

And wow, what a dream we're realizing. What a prayer we're answering.  

Why stay?

I have been a GK worker in DLSU for almost two years now. Contrary to popular belief, it does not pay that much. Actually, what I get is just enough to get me through. As they all say, it's take home pay that won't take you home. I've been getting some stick for it, as a result. You see, being the only one in the community in this family makes it a struggle. Not to mention that having cousins who spend their salaries to travel everywhere causes a rift between me and everyone else here once in a while. 

It would be a lie if I've said that I had never considered leaving for another job that pays well. It has actually crossed my mind several times. Also, considering the fact that I almost got into one of the top corporations in the country makes things difficult. People know that you're capable of earning thrice as much as you're earning now. But why settle for something like GK?

1. It is a calling. When God calls you,as much as you can, do not second-guess. He has a purpose for having you do things or make unpopular choices. He has set a mission for us when we were being conceived. It is also His way of saying, just do as I tell you and everything will be okay. 
2. God gives you things that you never thought you'd get. I suppose that for the most part of my service, I was lucky enough to get either free or discounted trips elsewhere. Not to mention that He gave me people who became the instruments as to why I've even reached the places I've been to. Over the last year, I've went to Cebu, Zamboanga, Baguio, and this year, I'll be going to Palawan! And mind you, I barely had to spend my own money to take those trips. Aside from that, I got a full scholarship for my masters degree! (and that's why some of titas are cool with my job now. haha!) He has also blessed me with friends who are truly for keeps. He has brought people into my life who could share the joy in doing His work! And for that alone, I'm thankful!
3. I now have the courage to speak about the beauty of His work. I used to think that this work was for nuts. I mean, who would give a lot of things up for something like this? I've witnessed the beauty of being a Filipino through Gawad Kalinga at the time when I was not really seeing it as a blessing. But more than that, He helped me enhance my talent in writing so that I could share my experiences to you. :) 
4. It has helped me appreciate what I have. True, I may not be rich. Actually, we're just making ends meet. And it does become difficult. But when I think about it, I have more than what others have. I have a support group, the best education that money could buy, books to teach me lessons, enough money to spend on leisure, a family who's always willing to accept me for my misgivings. Everything is a blessing. (Kulang nalang, someone whom I can truly share it with for the rest of my life. Haha! But I believe that in God's perfect time, it will happen! And yes, I'm praying for that.)
5. I've got my whole life ahead of me. I could always earn more later, but right now, I want to do something crazy while I'm young. People regret not being able to do the kind of things I do when they were younger. I do not want to say that, sayang I missed a chance at rebuilding the country by the time I'm 36! In 2024, I want to say, I was part of this movement which helped the country rise from being 3rd world to 1st!

There are so many other reasons I could list down, but I suppose, these are the most important. :)

Till the next GK adventure! :)

How it all began.

I suppose it's best to kick things off with the history of my GK experience.

What I lacked so much in life, Gawad Kalinga and the CFC-Youth For Christ and Singles For Christ communities have filled. I think I was a broken person in every sense when I started being active in the community.

My parents have long been separated and I was leaning towards agnostic. I lied about going to mass. Actually, what I used to do was to go out of the house for one hour and stay in the internet cafe and check my social networking accounts. I was so absorbed in my routine activities, that I have forgotten my sense of humanity. I was angry at what was happening to the world. I was vigilant enough, but I suppose I chose to just say my piece then leave the issue hanging. I knew what I was capable of doing but was scared that people might think I'm crazy. I think it was quite a struggle for me, because by nature, my favorite subject was Social Science. I could say that I've excelled in it. I also loved Palihan (our community service activity in high school) But I suppose, I was more absorbed in what kind of future I have than thinking about what's best for the country.

Back when I was in college, my dream was to get out of this country. I wanted to be a diplomat because I thought that it would be a perfect opportunity to travel around the world (for free). I used to see myself as settling in another country (as in Spain or France or England) as well. Aside from the fact that I was a very eager football fanatic (oh how I loved UEFA), I just wanted to be rich and famous. I clung to my pride in so many instances. I got active in organizations so that I will have a great job after college. I was conscious of my choices then, because I thought that what mattered was that I can secure my future.

In my continuous pursuit of credentials to back my future applications up, I've forgotten what was real. I've lost my heart. I was already becoming a robot and a slave to my work. Everything was a routine. My life was very basic: home-class-student council. Until one day, I was feeling bad about what was happening to me. And together with my good friend, Annie, I decided to take a break from everything. At one point, I told God, if You're really here with me, show me a sign that would lead me back to You.

And so after staying at the YFC tambayan for a very long time (the "IS Friends" usually went there just to study, nothing more), I came back to Gawad Kalinga through the Inter-Tambayani Tournament because my friends from OBB were organizing one. Also, during those days when we were preparing for the event that God won me back over. It was through one worship. I did not know why I was there, but since my friends insisted, I joined in. I cannot explain the feeling, and so all I could do was cry.

The song?

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

And it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus!

Some days of the vacation after that event were then dedicated to GK and YFC.

I suppose, God had a really strange way in calling me. He knew what I was capable of doing, and He woke the part of me that was genuinely human. He knew that through my brokenness, I could mend wounds. I could help families stay together whenever I help build communities because I know that no child deserves to live in such a setting. It was His way of having me share the many blessings I've received. He touched my heart through every single GK experience I've had and He wanted me to secure a future in this country and nowhere else; a country wherein everyone can live their dream because there's no poverty to crush them anymore.

Some people tell me that to be secure, we should find jobs that are well paying. But I suppose we could only find genuine security if we rebuild this country.

The Rationale Behind the Choice

This is the last time I'll explain my vote. I may not argue up front, but here are my arguments on why I've decided.

I've always thought that my chosen candidate, Noynoy Aquino, could run a campaign like Obama's. Obama had comparatively less experience than John McCain, yet the Americans have decided not to be subjected under a less than competent government. I thought that Noy could run a campaign built on hope that the country will rise after a 12-year spell under a government that has lost all sense of integrity. One that people can put their full trust on. 

However, with the current political landscape, trapo politics still reigns. Instead of having just a few gunning for the presidency, everyone who thinks that they can could run -- even if they had been corrupt (or been loyal to someone who has been proven to be corrupt), ousted from the presidency, or just merely wanted to do so (even if they barely had a chance on winning the elections). Good governance has been ill-defined in the sense that it is considered to be "good" if the people could reap some benefits from it.

But the truth is, it's not just about the benefits.

Good governance means doing what has been entrusted to you by the populace while retaining your integrity despite the temptations being presented to you. It means delivering the services that is due the people without compromising the quality. It is about inspiring others to do good because you believe that goodness is innate. It's about using the power bestowed upon you to affect change. 

I believe that my president has that ability to run the government with integrity. I believe that he can deliver. I believe that he can inspire because he's a good man. But there are just people who wouldn't give him a chance simply because he hasn't much credentials to show.

Fine, he may not have as much money to spend on advertisements, he may not have gone to Harvard for Law, he may not be a crowd-pleaser: but he's a good man with pure intentions. And if you're a good man, people can see that you only want what's best for your country even if you have just enough to get by. He ran because people wanted him to do so. I simply wanted him to run because I knew that he would put governing with integrity and principles, improving education, eradicating hunger and poverty at the core of his campaign. I know his record, and believe me, I like what I've seen. Above all, I support him because I know that he will anchor his poverty alleviation plan on Gawad Kalinga. One that has proven to be the most effective way of eradicating poverty in the country by EMPOWERING PEOPLE by showing love and care to the least of the poor. It is faith in action.

What good is being a topnotcher in the bar or being a successful businessman if you tolerate corruption in governance? What good is having a platform with too much statistics and flowery words if at the end of the day, you're the reason why our country is still in a rot? What good is having too much ads being aired on television if you have tainted your name so much by stealing what is due to the people?

Silang tunay na mahirap, silang mga may galing at talino, silang may disiplina, silang babalik na, silang mga relihiyoso, silang magaling magsalita , SILA NA ANG LAHAT. PERO HINDI SILA ANG SOLUSYON. Maaaring alam kuno nila ang pagiging tunay na mahirap pero sila rin naman ang dahilan kung bakit may mahirap. Maaaring sila ang may galing at talino, pero kung "trickle down effect" sa ekonomiya ang aasahan natin para umunlad ang bayan, hindi mo ineempower yung mahirap na ibangon ang sarili nila sa kahirapan, walang kwenta rin ang paghihirap at resources na ginamit mo. Maaaring babalik na sila, pero kung babalik lang sila at babalik lang tayo sa dating gawi at ipagpapatuloy lang natin ang naudlot, THANK YOU BUT WE DON'T NEED YOU. Silang relihiyoso, may pananampalataya sila, oo. Pero kung wala naman ang katawan na kumukumpleto sa espiritu, kung wala ang kilos at puro pananampalataya, wala ring mangyayari. Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa. Silang lahat magaling magsalita. Aba, kaya nga nila iemphasize yung mga magagandang words (yung iba pa nga di nila yata alam ang ibig sabihin), pero hindi ba yung mga taong magagaling na magsalita, sila din yung naging sanhi ng mga pangyayari tulad ng Martial Law at World War 2? 

We can be very intellectual about our votes. For me, it's not just about being smart. It's also about being good. Pagiging MABUTI. Pagiging TAPAT. Pagiging tunay na Pilipino. Pagkilala sa biyaya ng pagiging Pilipino at pag-alaga sa biyayang ito.

You may always argue with me with my choice. I'd respect that; but this is my choice and I will see to it that I will be accountable for this choice. If you'd vote for the others, I wouldn't have anything against you. 

What matters is that after the elections, we reunite and rebuild a better country.