What I lacked so much in life, Gawad Kalinga and the CFC-Youth For Christ and Singles For Christ communities have filled. I think I was a broken person in every sense when I started being active in the community.
My parents have long been separated and I was leaning towards agnostic. I lied about going to mass. Actually, what I used to do was to go out of the house for one hour and stay in the internet cafe and check my social networking accounts. I was so absorbed in my routine activities, that I have forgotten my sense of humanity. I was angry at what was happening to the world. I was vigilant enough, but I suppose I chose to just say my piece then leave the issue hanging. I knew what I was capable of doing but was scared that people might think I'm crazy. I think it was quite a struggle for me, because by nature, my favorite subject was Social Science. I could say that I've excelled in it. I also loved Palihan (our community service activity in high school) But I suppose, I was more absorbed in what kind of future I have than thinking about what's best for the country.
Back when I was in college, my dream was to get out of this country. I wanted to be a diplomat because I thought that it would be a perfect opportunity to travel around the world (for free). I used to see myself as settling in another country (as in Spain or France or England) as well. Aside from the fact that I was a very eager football fanatic (oh how I loved UEFA), I just wanted to be rich and famous. I clung to my pride in so many instances. I got active in organizations so that I will have a great job after college. I was conscious of my choices then, because I thought that what mattered was that I can secure my future.
In my continuous pursuit of credentials to back my future applications up, I've forgotten what was real. I've lost my heart. I was already becoming a robot and a slave to my work. Everything was a routine. My life was very basic: home-class-student council. Until one day, I was feeling bad about what was happening to me. And together with my good friend, Annie, I decided to take a break from everything. At one point, I told God, if You're really here with me, show me a sign that would lead me back to You.
And so after staying at the YFC tambayan for a very long time (the "IS Friends" usually went there just to study, nothing more), I came back to Gawad Kalinga through the Inter-Tambayani Tournament because my friends from OBB were organizing one. Also, during those days when we were preparing for the event that God won me back over. It was through one worship. I did not know why I was there, but since my friends insisted, I joined in. I cannot explain the feeling, and so all I could do was cry.
The song?
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus!
Some days of the vacation after that event were then dedicated to GK and YFC.
I suppose, God had a really strange way in calling me. He knew what I was capable of doing, and He woke the part of me that was genuinely human. He knew that through my brokenness, I could mend wounds. I could help families stay together whenever I help build communities because I know that no child deserves to live in such a setting. It was His way of having me share the many blessings I've received. He touched my heart through every single GK experience I've had and He wanted me to secure a future in this country and nowhere else; a country wherein everyone can live their dream because there's no poverty to crush them anymore.
Some people tell me that to be secure, we should find jobs that are well paying. But I suppose we could only find genuine security if we rebuild this country.
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